Last Night

Last night was strange. A couple of days ago I got a phone call from a family member. We had a normal conversation and then she asked me if I was going to the meeting. I asked what meeting while running over everything that had already been said to make sure that I hadn't missed a part of the conversation, this has been known to happen with me. I don't think I had because the next thing she said did not clear my confusion.
"Did you not get the box?" That week I had got two boxes. Boxes of books I'd ordered and since the subject of the books was either shape shifters, vampires or horses, I was pretty sure that neither of them were the box she was asking about. I asked what box.
"The box left for you in church. It has your name on it."
I told that not only had I not got a box but I knew absolutely nothing of said box.
"It's a wee blue one with your name on it. There's a chocolate thing inside it."
I'm female. I began listening at the mention of chocolate, and asking about where I could find the chocolate.
"It was left on the pew. There's one for your mother, too. It's an invitation for the women's association for the church."
I'm not entirely sure what happened after that, but when I hung up I realised that she had somehow got me to agree to go to the meeting. I was still laughing about it when I rang my dad to find out what exactly had happened to my box of some sort of chocolate. He had it. He still has it, actually.
So, I forgot all about this meeting and my consent to go to it. Until yesterday, I was reading a book, one of the ones that had arrived in the boxes, and having a cigarette when the phone rang. I thought it was MIL so I ignored and continued to read and smoke in peace while the bf answered. Well, it was supposed to be for him anyway so why would I bother answering it. The next thing I know, he comes running and says it's for me. I left my book (really good) and my cigarette and went to the phone. It was not MIL. It was a woman from the church.
"So, you're going to this meeting tonight then?" She said.
My mind went into overdrive. It was simultaneously trying to remember what this meeting was while also trying to think of an excuse not to go.
"The women's meeting" She said.
"Well, yeah, um, I think so."
"That's good, there'll be some numbers tonight. Do you need a lift?"
"No, no, I'll get down with mum." With that sentence my entire plan was formulated. Mum had been working all day and would have next to no inclination to be heading off to a meeting. Not only that but a few days earlier she had been in a minor car accident. She was uninjured but there was no way she'd want to be traipsing off to a meeting. Especially one I thought and was convinced about it, that dealt with the art and science of jam making and knitting and crocheting. I said my goodbyes and immediately rang my mother. After establishing that both of us would only go if the other was going we'd hit a stalemate. Her plan had been to say that as I wasn't going she didn't want to drive an empty car the whole twenty minutes and nobody else would have room for her. I told it was up to her to decide and that she held the fate of both of us in her hands. We deliberated for about five minutes with mum eventually saying that we'd have to go but that it probably wouldn't take long.
So at twenty to eight, I was getting into mum's car. She didn't have an empty car or even a half empty one. She ended up driving four of us down to a meeting that I was still convinced and no amount to talking would have persuaded me otherwise, which would have us all up to our elbows in gooseberry jam by nine o'clock. At eight, we're sitting in the car, now parked, like a crowd of eejits because nobody else had arrived and we didn't want to be the first ones in the door. Fortunately, within three minutes, five other cars pulled up and we got out of the car with one of us saying something close to: "No, I didn't see where that thing went. It must be under the drivers seat." Just so as we didn't look like complete idiots.
By the time we reached the front door there was a line of about ten of us, all walking in like mourners to a funeral. We packed in to a medium sized living room of the minster's house but it could hold us for long and soon we had to move to the considerably larger kitchen, all twenty seven of us.
The meeting started with ice breakers and quizzes. So I'm sat there thinking, no jam jars, quizzes, chocolate, this might not be as bad as I thought. I was wrong. After all that, they began the prayers and the bible readings and the 'funny' little christian sayings. I'm sat there in a chair which is killing my bad hip, and thinking 'What on earth am I doing here?' I'm not religious and as a general rule try my best to avoid it at all costs and somehow I was persuaded to be there. Not only that but they signed me up to come back and help organise things.
Fortunately at no point where we ever up to our elbows in gooseberry jam. I think they're saving that for the second meeting.